Friday, February 29, 2008

Raging In The Storm

A group of my friends got together for church tonight at my sister's house. We had a great time. We enjoyed a very tasty meal, played and sang some songs, spent some time talking about the Bible, and spent some time talking to God. The awesome part about it all was God met us there.

I have to say that has not been the case so much for me lately.

One of the things that I try to do every morning as I am getting rolling is spend some time reading the Bible. I am on a daily plan that will help me to read through the Bible in a year. It is a good discipline, and I often learn things as I read it. I also like to pray, but prayer is one of the disciplines that I struggle with sometimes. My mind tends to wander, and I get off topic, and before I know it, I'm daydreaming about what I have to do that day or about something that I would like to do one day.

Lately I have been struggling to stay awake even to read my Bible. Not good.

It seems like there has been a lot of interference in my connection with God, and the bad thing about that is how I tend to respond to it. I tend to get angry.

One of my favorite poems of all time is The Collar by George Herbert. It is so typical of my life. I probably should have the last lines etched into my tombstone one day:

"But as I rav’d and grew more fierce and wilde
At every word,
Me thoughts I heard one calling, Childe:
And I reply’d, My Lord."

I hate to admit it, but I am a rager. It is frankly downright embarrassing to have to admit that I have a huge, glaring fruit of the flesh growing on the vine of my life. And just like Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump, the more the storm rages, the more I tend to rage as well.

Tonight as we were praying I found a sheltered harbor in the midst of my storm, and I thought of the words that I used for the title of this post. I have been raging in the storm. How foolish! What a waste of time, emotion, and energy - especially when there is a safe place reserved for me in God.

I must make it a priority to find this place in God each day. Without it I get tossed about by every trial and wave that comes my way. I begin to fear and to express that fear I turn to anger. This must change in my life. With God's help it will.

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