Man, I Feel So Much Better After Hearing This!

Turning more upbeat, President Barack Obama said Friday his administration is working to create a "post-bubble" model for solid economic growth once the recession ends. He said that means the days of overheated housing markets and "people maxing out on their credit cards" are over. But first, Obama said, "We've got to get through this difficult period."

Find out more about his plan...

Wow! That's amazing! How will you do it Mr. President?

"Well, uh, well you know it's like, um... like that time when I was, y'know, um, uh... and there was the bubble and all... um... and we're going to take all of the land and... um... this one kid kept stealing my ice cream cone and I said to him, 'Hey mister, you can't do that 'cause it isn't nice.' and, um, after that, well, he kicked my butt, but ha ha, I won the election, but because the government will take it all we will never have people maxing out credit cards again."

Right... And how are you going to be helping small businesses, Mr. President?

"Well, um. You see, we're going to raise taxes on people who make over $250,000 (but not Democrats) uh, or married couples that um, well, ah, make $300,000 and well, then that money will, um, be given to other people who will make, er, well, it will make things all better. It's redistributing the wealth.

I see...